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Knuckle Curve - Baseball News

Nine Baseball Predictions for 2007

by Geoff Young on December 20th, 2006

Darren Rowse is conducting another of his group writing projects. These are always a fun way to connect with folks who might not otherwise be aware of us. Since we talk about baseball around here, and there are nine players in a baseball lineup, I present nine predictions for 2007. Some of these are serious, others not so much; it’s left as an exercise for the reader to decide which are which. ;-)

  1. Barry Bonds will fail to make it through the season healthy and will finish his career with 754 home runs, one shy of Hank Aaron’s all-time mark, proving yet again that karma is much more than just a word I don’t really understand.
  2. Albert Pujols will hit 58 home runs in 2007, matching Ryan Howard’s total from 2006. The average “stare time” after each homer will be 23.4 seconds before commencing the obligatory trot around the bases. Pujols will note that every pitcher against whom he failed to homer wasn’t that good. He will be named unanimous MVP of the National League and call out writers who had the nerve to list anyone second.
  3. Daisuke Matsuzaka will become addicted to My Name Is Earl. This won’t keep him from excelling in Boston, but it will lead to some awkward interview moments.
  4. Lou Piniella, in his new gig as manager for the Chicago Cubs, will set the new standard for managerial tirades by pulling all three bases from the ground simultaneously and hurling them onto Waveland Avenue. He will then disappear in a blinding flash of light. Rumors of a man who looks like Piniella appearing in Papua New Guinea at the same time will be neither proven nor disproven.
  5. The Kansas City Royals, led by $55 million man Gil Meche, will win 67 games, their highest total since 2003.
  6. Manny Ramirez will be involved in a trade. He will swap his trademark cornrows for a sweet ‘fro.
  7. No teams from New York, Chicago, Boston, or Los Angeles will participate in the World Series. Again. Network executives will freak out because of this. Again.
  8. Mark McGwire will not be elected to the Hall of Fame. In a joint statement, voters will cite the fact that “he didn’t want to talk about the past and isn’t really doing anything now” as the reason.
  9. Baseball will continue to be the greatest sport on this planet, and any others where it may be played.

Those are my predictions. What are yours?

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