Jack Cust Ain’t Superman
You’ve heard the legend of Jack Cust by now. The veteran DH came to the A’s from San Diego in a trade a few weeks ago and has gotten off to a great start with his new club. But is he better than Superman? You be the judge:
| Cust | Superman | Advantage | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Birthplace | Flemington, N.J. | Krypton | With all due respect to New Jersey, this goes to the Man of Steel. |
| Drafted | Arizona, 1st round ‘97 | Never | Cust. In fairness to Superman, had he played baseball, he likely would have been a first-round pick as well. |
| Earth Name | Jack Cust | Clark Kent | Tie. I can’t tell the difference. |
| Height | 6′1″ | 6′3″ | Superman. |
| Weight | 205 lbs | 225 lbs | Superman. |
| Speed | None | Faster than a speeding bulllet | Superman. |
| Vision | Good enough to draw walks | X-ray, heat, telescopic, infrared, and microscopic | I’ll call this a tie. Each serves its purpose. X-ray vision is way cooler but I don’t know how useful it would be in a baseball context. |
| Flight | No | Yes | Superman. |
| Other | 8 HR in 46 AB | Invulnerable to non-magical attacks of ordinary force | That home run total is impressive, but invulnerability to non-magical attacks is pretty sweet. Gotta go with Superman. |
| Weakness | Playing the outfield | Kryptonite | Both end badly; we’ll call it a tie. |
There you go. Hope that clears up any confusion…
Tags: baseball, jack_cust, supermanRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Humor, Personalities
7 opinions for Jack Cust Ain’t Superman
Didi
May 22, 2007 at 5:45 pm
LOL. Genius, that Geoff.
What, You Expected Him to Get Batters Out?
May 23, 2007 at 9:10 am
[…] the A’s thought he could be the pitching equivalent of Jack Cust? Sometimes there is no lightning, only bottle… baseball, colby lewis, jack cust, mlb, white […]
Malcolm
May 23, 2007 at 10:51 am
OK, I’m in. JCust has proven to be no Clark Kent, but if Superman is the PTBNL as Geoff seems to be implying, I can begin to see the logic of this deal. On the one hand,he’s a bit old(Brock2 projects much smaller buildings). Yet his name will sell tickets.Then there’s the inevitable ? “Where could the Padres play him?”Certainly not 3B. Catcher. About now I like the sound of “caught stealing -2 unassisted” Did Yogi do that?Dont ask.But bottom line being the bottom line, S-man is not likely to add a “D” to his cape in the near future.
Geoff Young
May 23, 2007 at 11:35 am
“Brock2 projects much smaller buildings.” Dude, you are such a geek. That’s freakin’ hilarious!
LynchMob
May 23, 2007 at 6:56 pm
I’m trying to stir up support for JJ Furmaniak as the PTBNL … he’s not Superman either … but I think he’d be *a lot* better than either Blum or Robles … doncha think?
Geoff Young
May 24, 2007 at 9:44 am
I’d have no problem seeing Furmaniak come back to the Padres. He’d definitely be better than Blum; not sure about Robles — I think his skill set is pretty valuable in a place like Petco Park.
Ask Jack Cust About Projections
Oct 8, 2007 at 2:31 pm
[…] in preparation for the Ducksnorts 2008 Baseball Annual, I came across this gem on everyone’s second favorite superhero, Jack Cust. Check out his preseason […]
Have an opinion? Leave a comment: